Screamin’ Sicilian Mambo Italiano

Time for tha SCREAMIN’ Sicilian Mambo Jambo Wombo Combo Italiano PIZZA baby! This bad mamba jamba comes on an individually rolled crust with THICC cut pepperonis and some dope sausage. image1

The box is informative and features a nice, comically placed preview of the pie. “BADDA BING BADDA BOOM DIS HERE IS A PIZZAROONA!” It screams. The directions were pretty much the same as every other pizza, Bake at 400 degrees(Fahrenheit) for somewhere around 20 minutes, but this one came packed with a nice warning: “Check pizza at 15 minutes” aka “our pizza’s are so individually unique that you need to keep an eye out so you know when its done baking.” and that is nice. The best piece of this boxes marketing strategy is the removable cardboard mustache! image2

That actually happened. Not even sorry.

Okay, okay, on to the actually pizza. THE SCREAMIN SICILIAN MAMBO ITALIANO! I gotta tell you, faithful reader, this is one of the best pizza’s that has ever left my oven. This is the only Take N’ Bake Pizza I have ever consumed that made me feel like I sat down in a pizzeria and ordered some fancy pizza, but at a much lower cost. The pizza is small, small enough that it could easily feed just one person or like two children, but you’re paying for quality here. It is worth every penny.


Every crust is individually rolled, not pressed by a dumb robot that makes everything without love, and the crust is pretty solid. Doesn’t feature any major flavors but certainly is a notably nice dough in my opinion. The pizza is really light on the sauce, but what’s there is great sauce. The cheese tastes real, the pepperoni taste and feel more like when you go to a deli and they cut it in front of you than if you go to wal-mart and buy a lunchables pepperoni pizza. There’s just a difference. The sausage was really good, just like me momma used to make! All the meat felt real you know? There was plenty of really good, authentic cheese. It’s a real pizza.

The next day, as a cold pizza, it was only okay. Sausage is hard to eat cold, but if you opted for the normal pepperoni in this brand, I’m sure it would be totally fine. Reheating in the microwave helped with the sausage, but you didn’t quite have that cold pizza texture… Really, the best thing is to just eat it fresh from the oven, and since it’s not that big, you likely won’t find yourself with leftovers anyways (unless you’re just a stinkin’ lightweight scrubberino who can’t hold their pizza.)

Look, this pizza is just the ultimate experience. Other Take-n-bakes will be hard pressed to beat this one out. at $6.98, the only downfall is the size, and I’d call this one a Medium size. While I am a firm believer that bad pizza is better than no pizza, I still believe that great pizza is better than bad pizza, and this is a great pizza. Buy it. Eat it. Love it. On to the scoring!


Size: 7/10
Value: 8/10
Meat: 10/10
Sauce: 8/10
Cheese: 9/10
Crust: 8/10
Box: 8/10
Cold: 6/10
Reheated: 7/10

Overall: 9/10

THAT IS ONE HECKUVA DEAL go to the store pronto and buy yourself one or three or whatever. Take. Bake. Love.


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