Sasquatch Mega Meat Pizza

My new years resolution was to eat more pizza. So much more, in fact, that by the end of 2017 I hope to have tried every brand of Take and Bake pizza’s that my local wal-mart sells, which is a lot more than you would think! I freaking love pizza, and you probably do too, else you wouldn’t be here. The first pizza I saw in the store was called the Sasquatch Mega Meat pizza, and I obviously had to buy that bad boy. Let us begin.

The Pizza:


This is an appealing box. Surely this pizza is going to be great, right? RIGHT? WRONG!

The Sasquatch boasts a weight of over 3 Lbs, which is accurate, the scale in the self checkout at wal-mart rung it in at a whopping 3.75 pounds, so subtracting the weight of the box, we can confidently call this over 3 pounds. Which would be impressive if it wasn’t 90% crust. Being a lot of crust and really sauce heavy I think makes this a Chicago style, which doesn’t make any sense, considering the Sasquatch is probably not in Chicago. I wanted 3 pounds of meat but there was a disappointing lack thereof.

Let’s talk about the directions. As a rule of thumb, I cook every pizza on the center rack, at the suggested temperature, for the minimum suggested time, with no baking sheet. This has worked very well for me in the past, with every single pizza, so I know my oven well and it always makes for the perfect pizza. I baked this under the same circumstances, the minimum time, and my pizza burnt. IMG_2821.JPG

Look, it wasn’t unbearable, it didn’t char the entire thing by any means. BUT LOOK AT THOSE PEPPERONIS! The bottom was completely black and tasted burnt. Come on, Sasquatch. Get your directions together. No one wants a burnt pizza! The sauce was decent though, meat was all good, minus the BURNT PEPPERONES. Cheese is cheese, you can’t really go wrong. My philosophy in life, and remember this, it’s important, has always been:

Bad pizza is better than no pizza!

The next day, I tried a slice cold. It was the worst cold pizza I have ever had. Sooooooo gross. Do not eat the cold Sasquatch. HOWEVER, I threw a slice in the microwave, and it was even better than fresh out of the oven. This pizza was MADE for the microwave, it was just delicious. Even the crust was better, since it got a little softer and wasn’t as crispy-burnt. Here is my final rating:

Box: 5/10
Size: 9/10
Value: 7/10
Sauce: 7/10
Cheese: 7/10
Crust: 5/10
Meat: 6/10
Cold Pizza: 4/10
Reheated Pizza: 8/10

Overall: 6.5/10

Priced at $9.98 before taxes, you do get a lot of pizza, and bad pizza IS always better than no pizza, but save yourself the trouble. The only way this pizza is good is if you bake it under the recommended amount of time, refrigerate it over night, and then microwave it. If I wanted to work that hard I would have made a pizza from scratch(hahahahahahahaha okay that wouldn’t ever happen.)

Really though, there are worse ways to spend $10. There are just much, much better ways too, like a different pizza. IS NO-A DEAL!


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